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Disclaimer: No cats were harmed in the making of this recipe book.


Mozzerella Cat Whirl

1 1/2 pounds ground cat (ground beef would also be acceptable in a pinch) chopped onions and green peppers recommended
1/2 cup soft bread crumbs
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon salt (Italian seasonings and garlic/onion powders also acceptable in place of salt)
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 (6 ounce) package mozzarella cheese, sliced
3/4 cup ketchup
3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
In a large bowl, combine cat, bread crumbs, egg, mustard, salt and pepper; mix well. On a sheet of waxed paper, pat out cat mixture into a large rectangle. Cover the surface with slices of cheese. Starting with the short side of the rectangle, roll up and remove waxed paper simultaneously. Place in a shallow baking dish. In a small bowl, mix together ketchup, water, and Worcestershire sauce; pour over cat.
Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour and 10 minutes.



Slow Cooker Cat Roast

2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed cream of carl soup (cream of mushroom is a good substitute)
1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix
1 1/4 cups water
5 1/2 pounds cat roast (pot roast also works if cat roast is unavailable on your planet)

In a slow cooker, mix cream of carl soup, dry onion soup mix and water. Place cat roast in slow cooker and coat with soup mixture.
Cook on High setting for 3 to 4 hours, or on Low setting for 8 to 9 hours.