Your Favorite ALF Quotes

[twangle]

Alf talking to jake:"You got a way with women"

[twangle]

ALF:"I was once hooked on a babe named Rhonda,and when i tried to talk to her, i sounded like gommer pile.
Talking not singing."

[ALFan]

ALF:"Great, I'm going bowling and I don't even have a cantelope."

[Admin]

ALF: "Walk like an Egyptiaaaaaan...........hide like an Egyptian!"

[ALFan]

ALF:"I hate it back here. The jackles keep laughing at me."

[Lucky-ftw]

ALF: Oh Jake, you're just in time for brandy and cigars.
Willie (as dry as possible): No brandy. No cigars.

[cuteandfurry]

Kate: Does Justice want a cookie?

Alf: Justice will think about it.

There is one more as well, the version of how we say it is " Isn't that calling the kettle black" ALF had his own verison, it was funny.

[twangle]

ALF:"O.K. go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep." outside theres a loud ping!
ALF:"O.K. just ignore that ,just ignore that," outside another loud ping!Alf gets up.
ALF:"Oh heck, why must i be so darn curious."

[twangle]

Alf:" Elvis has left the building!"

[ALFan]

ALF:"MInd over blatter. Mind over blatter. Blatter over mind! BLATTER OVER MIND!!"

[twangle]

Alf:"I'm sorry did you say you wanted hair in the peanut butter or didn't want hair in the peanut butter?"

[ALFan]

Alf:"I'm sorry did you say you wanted hair in the peanut butter or didn't want hair in the peanut butter?"

I had already posted that one.

[cuteandfurry]

Alf on the phone:

"Hello is this Mr. Ockmonek I'm speaking to? oh jolly good. I'm doing a survey for the B.B.C and wondering if you would like to answer some questions. First off what would you say the difference is between American and British televison? Um hm yeah and question two did you kill your wife?"

Kate: ALF

Alf: Got to go the queen just drop by.

Kate: What were you doing?

ALF: Just some impressions.

Kate: You were harassing Trevor.

[jantje]

From the episode Changes:

Alf: If it ain't broke, don't step on it.
Willie: Fix it.
Alf: Fix what?
Willie: The saying is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".
Alf: Why would you?

From the episode "I've got a new attitude"

Dorothy tells Wizzer that they should put the chicken in the yard before he can come in. (The chicken is Alf, of course )
...
Dorothy: (to Wizzer) I'm busy tonight.
Kate: Doing what, Mom?
Dorothy: Well, we have to divide the flowers.
Alf (from the kitchen): HAAHAAAHAAAA!
Dorothy: And then, we're gonna butcher the chicken.

From "Suspicous Minds":

Alf: If you rearrange the letters in "Elvis Aron Presley" you'll get "Presley Lives Nora". Now we only have to find that Nora chick.

The whole episode is hilarious, though. I laugh my ass off whenever I watch it.

[Jessica]

ALF: "One man's bedroom is another man's prison"

[jantje]

From the episode "The Boy Next Door"

ALF: I have powers you can only dream of.
JAKE: Like what?
ALF: I can watch ten hours of TV without ever getting up to go to the bathroom.
JAKE: You're the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
ALF: You should see me with my hair wet.


From the episode "Mind Games"

ALF: Hey B! Have you ever dreamed that you're being chased by a giant cheeselog?
BRIAN: No.
ALF: Then I only need to see you five times a week.


Alf enters Kate and Willie's bedroom in the evening:

ALF: Carl Jung was a big weenie head! ... I'm preparing a paper for the American Psychological Association that proves Jung's theorems were based on faulty logic and misinterpreted data. How do you spell ne-ne-ne-ne-ne?

[jantje]

From "Weird Science"

WILLIE: Do you know someone made a two-hour phone call to Lybia.
ALF: That might have been me. Consumer Ed set up the call to the factory.
WILLIE: This was a $300 phone call!
ALF: Hey, I got you a new TV out of it, didn't I?
WILLIE: I didn't pay $300 for the first one!
ALF: Which is exactly why it broke.

( Hilarious!)

The new TV breaks in a few minutes.

[jantje]

From "We're in the money"

ALF: Willie, honey, baby, sweetheart! I can't make you a rich man if you keep second-guessing every senseless choice I make.


From "The first time ever I saw your face"

NEAL: I have a million questions to ask you.
ALF: I'm sure. Keep them to yourself, hah?

NEAL: So what you're saying is, beside having eight stomachs, you're not special in any way.
ALF (annoyed): Oh, gee, thanks!

ALF: Are you sure you've never played this [chess] before?
NEAL: No, this is my first time.
ALF: OK, let's play in money!

[Alf=Funny]

"Great i'm going bowling and i don't even have a cantolope" LOL

[jantje]

Ohh, another one from "Mind Games"

ALF: Face it, Kate. I'm a man without a purpose. Or a planet. Or a middle finger for that matter.